Support For Special Needs

Julia Roberts from Support for Special Needs asked if she could re-post my last blog entry. Of course I said yes. I feel like I have made the big time! ;-)

http://supportforspecialneeds.com/2011/04/25/autism-awareness-month-if-i-only-knew/

Autism Awareness Month: If I only knew...

my blog has a new home at:
http://www.jitteryplanet.com/

this entry can be found there at:
http://www.jitteryplanet.com/?p=77

It's April. Autism Awareness Month, and the month is almost over. As the mother of a seven (almost 8 year old son) on the spectrum, I felt like I should say something. In fact it's been weighing on me greatly, just what I should say.

The truth is I have written and re-written this post what feels like a million times and was never happy with it. I wanted to say something, but I'm no expert of any kind. I'm just a mom, not even one of those Autism Warrior Moms you hear tell about. I'm just an ordinary mom of two regular type kids, one of whom happens to have autism.

So then I started over from scratch. I thought, if there was one thing I wish someone could have told me about autism before my son was diagnosed, what would it be?

So here goes...

There is a saying you may or may not have heard, "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." It's seems sort of obvious doesn't it? Not all typical people are exactly the same, why would those with autism be. But it's a truth that I think many people don't fully grasp. Before my son was diagnosed, I didn't get it. Not at all.

I thought I knew a fair amount about autism. I'd read a couple of books. I'd met a handful of people who'd been diagnosed with it. I knew about Temple Grandin from when I was taking animal husbandry courses in jr. high and high school. 

But the truth is the image I had in my mind was a very stereotyped one, and it was an image that did not match up with my son. Even when family members suggested I look into it, I just couldn't see it. I did mention it to the pediatrician who didn't see it either. She saw some delays, as did I, but not autism. If I'd known, I mean really known? I don't think I would have left it at that.

I'd wish I'd known that kids with autism can be goofy, and silly and giggly and cuddly. I wish I'd known just how smart and talented and loving and amazing children with autism can be.

I wish I'd known all that, I mean really known that, when Max was little and first showing the signs. Would an earlier diagnosis have made much of a difference for him? It's hard to say, but at least I would have known I had done my best for him from the start.

I would have understood why he struggled with things that other children seemed to sail through. I like to think I would have been more patient with him. A lot more patient.


And maybe... just maybe... I wouldn't have felt so alone.

Because there are so many of us. Not just parents of children with autism, but all of us parents of children with special needs, children who struggle to fit in a world not made for them. We are not alone.

We don't have to be.

Wordless Wednesday

Raising autism awareness one Dairy Queen at a time! ;-)

Wordless Wednesday

My niece Allison

(That's Max getting funky with two microphones behind her)

Max is a swinger now! (No! Not THAT kind of swinger!)

Max on the slide yesterday

Yesterday afternoon, when Max got out of school, both he and his younger brother Sam seemed pretty restless. There was still probably a good six plus inches of snow on the ground from that last snowstorm, but I felt like their need to run around was greater than my need to be done with snow.

Saying this probably shows how much of a Minnesotan I am, but yesterday really turned out to be the perfect day to go to the playground. Snow and all.

It was very sunny and much warmer than that picture would lead you to believe.

And the snow even served a purpose.

You see the playground closest to where we live is covered in gravel. Unfortunately Max can't really be trusted to leave the gravel alone. He'll start out rather harmlessly, just pouring through his fingers, but that very quickly can lead to throwing it and/or putting it in his mouth. And it's hard to redirect him. Almost impossible. But that lovely white blanket of snow did a great job of hiding all that tempting gravel so he could concentrate on the playground equipment.

Max and Sam started going down the slides. I only got a couple of picture of Max before my phone ran out of battery, which is a shame because of what happened later.

A couple of girls around aged 9 or 10 turned up, so they were around one or two years older than Max. They were watching him and giggling. Not in a 'boy that kid is weird' way but in a 'do you see that cute boy?' sorta way. I guess because Max is fairly tall for his age they didn't realize he was younger. Anyway, they kept their distance, and giggled. A lot.

At one point Max went to the swing set and sat down. The girls sat on the other end of the swing set and started swinging. Max watched them for a little bit, and then started swinging too.

I can't tell you how huge that was. I mean, Max has loved swings all his life, but has always relied on someone else to push him. Plus you have to be careful when you do it. Because of his loose grip he has a tendency to fall right off those things if you aren't careful.

He wasn't going very high or fast, but he got the swing going all by himself and kept it going! He was even holding onto the chains fairly well. He had this huge grin on his face. I wish I could have gotten a picture. He looked so pleased with himself.

The other thing is... I would almost swear he watched those girls, saw how they did it, and then did it himself. That's pretty good imitation for someone with autism, I think!

Soon Sam wanted to use the swings also. He still needs to be pushed, and as soon as I arrived on the scene the girls took off. It was kind of funny.

Getting back to my original point (if I indeed ever had one) Max is growing up.

He is learning and changing and growing like all kids do.  Just because he isn't doing it in the typical ways or at the typical speed doesn't mean he isn't. And it doesn't mean he won't get there in the end.

Last year he learned to peddle a bike. This year it's swinging. Nobody can say what might be next.

*On the other hand I'm not going to think about how those girls were checking out my little boy, because I am so NOT ready for that!

ETA: We went back to the park the next day and Max headed right over to the swings. I didn't get a picture of his big smile. I tried but he kept looking away and then my phone died again. But you can see he has the motion down!

March Snow (Wordless... Thursday?)

Sammy's First Book

Sam drew the pictures and told me what to write on the pages.

I apologize in advance for my handwriting.